Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.
It’s hard to answer the question “what’s wrong” when nothings right. I’m tired of trying, sick of crying, I know I’ve been smiling, but inside I’m dying. Maybe one day it will be ok again. That’s all I want. I don’t care what it takes. I just want to be ok again. When I was younger crying always seemed to be the answer. Now that I’m older crying seems to be the only option. I guess there comes a point where you just have to stop trying because it hurts to much to hold on anymore. You say I’m always happy, and that I’m good at what I do, but what you’ll never realize is, I’m a damn good actress too.
Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I’m happy. Tired of living and scared of dying. I don’t necessarily want to be happy; I just want to stop feeling miserable. Don’t fall into the trap of pretending everything’s fine when you know it isn’t. I’m just learning how to smile, and that’s not easy to do. Sometimes it hurts more to smile in front of everyone, then to cry all alone.
I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiled the one who could brighten up your day, even if she couldn’t brighten her own.